Partly Facetious: The intelligence provided is not a reflection of ground realities

“I really don’t understand why politicians with an overarching ambition to get elected would postpone elections even by a month.”

“May be because they reckon the public needs to forget the Samdhi’s fiascos and the consequent price payable by the public.”

“Well, if the Better Half has not acknowledged his three past mistakes in handling the establishment which cost him the prime ministership the three times I don’t see how he will acknowledge his fourth-time mistake of appointing Ishaq Dar as the finance minister.”

“Better Half is usually used for the life partner…”

“Indeed and let’s put it this way Dar has been more faithful to Nawaz Sharif than…than…”

“Don’t go there. Anyway Dar has been briefing Nawaz Sharif on all matters – he is the inside man and….”

“Right but the intelligence provided is not a reflection of ground realities.”

“Hmmm, anyway another reason for postponing elections could be another delusion: that on The Better Half’s return the public will be galvanized to vote for no one but the Better Half.”

“Indeed and now that Pakistan has good coffee houses in all major cities, perhaps he doesn’t need to stay in London to get good coffee.”

“Don’t be facetious. Anyway perhaps the postponement is due to the time required for the Better Half to return to Raiwind and not Kot Lakhpat jail?”

“I see but I hear that the perception is that more time needs to elapse before The Khan factor is neutralized.”

“Right, neutral factor is more important that the return of the Better Half…you reckon the neutral factor is giving neutral directives…”

“Hey directives are not the same as notifications you know – the former brook no debate and the latter as Notification Maryam Nawaz has realised require being constantly monitored by The Trainers…”

“Right and Zardari sahib would want elections as soon as possible because he has Sindh in the palm of his hand and splinter PTI groups and independents in other provinces can be lured by the pledge of supporting neutrality…”

“Dear me.”

“Yes, but Zardari sahib knows well that the expensive rug can be pulled at a moment’s notice.”

“So does The Man Who Must Remain Nameless by now. And so does The Better Half and…”

“As someone born and brought up in Lahore, all I can say is that we Lahoris need a monthly reality check…”

“And if the reality check does not reflect ground realities…”

“Well then you go into exile or jail.”

“Hmmmm.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023