“So if I give you two hats then how will you decide which one to wear when?”
“I don’t favour hats – umbrellas or head scarfs or just a newspaper to ward off rain….”
“But if I do give you two hats which one will you wear when?”
“I just told you…OK, OK I will humour you, if it’s a sunny day then I will wear a sun hat, if it’s a rainy day then there are waterproof hats and…”
“And what if it’s raining and neither of the two hats is waterproof?”
“Good Lord! I will either not go out or take an umbrella or…”
“I wasn’t aware you are that literal!”
“Sorry?”
“Well our cabinet members traditionally like to have more than one hat – I guess the King of Hats accumulation is Ishaq Dar.”
“Oh and who is the Prince?”
“Our Prime Minister favours hats as well though I have never seen him wear a winter hat, you know the knitted variety that…”
“That is a hairstyle spoiler and…”
“You are being facetious! And would you please stop this inane conversation, there is so much not right in the country – the economy is…..”
“Before you say something that would show a sense of hopelessness on your part, a very un-Islamic sentiment, let me tell you who I was actually referring to. It is not the King of Hats, he has way more than two, no let me give you the background – the parliamentarians of the party led by the Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless have remained in the national assembly building for the past three days, whose keys are now with the police reportedly…”
“I hear the toilet’s window is open and…”
“The Leader of the Opposition is rather spry for his age, but I don’t think he can actually jump out.”
“Don’t be facetious anyway there were many who gathered outside the assembly building because the doors were locked, then many gathered inside Khyber Pakhtunkhwa House because they weren’t allowed to proceed to the assembly building — all roads in the Blue Area are shut which means that the bureaucrats can’t easily get to their offices and the demand seems very reasonable: let us have a family member or a doctor present who enjoys the confidence of the party and…”
“So where do the hats come in?”
“This situation is creating havoc in the federal capital and the Interior Minister is currently wearing his Chairman Pakistan Cricket Board hat and…”
“Hey, he had to support the team.”
“The team lost badly.”
“Think of it as glass half full – if he hadn’t been there the team would have lost by more than 61 runs – I reckon around 150 or…”
“Don’t be facetious.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2026