PARTLY FACETIOUS: Governor Cheema came with a very high recommendation

20 Apr, 2022

“Umar Sarfaraz Cheema, appointed Governor Punjab in the twilight weeks of his party in power in Punjab…”

“Twilight indeed you know is a period or state of obscurity, ambiguity, or gradual decline.”

“Hunh.”

“Anyway Cheema came with a very high recommendation, he was one of the founding members of the PTI who did not alienate The Khan during his stint in power and…”

“Maybe because he kept his mouth shut, and in a ranking of one to 10 he was a 4 — the ranking that The Khan is most comfortable with…”

“Shah Mahmood is not a 4 and neither is Asad Umar nor…”

“When you are a follower then you start with a 2 and work your way up…Shah Mahmood in spite of his pirhood failed because he lost to Jehangir Tareen in Punjab…”

“But he took his revenge by convincing The Khan to appoint The Buzz.”

“No, that was The Khan on his own – and that brings me to why Cheema was appointed — he like the Buzz had the magic alphabet in his name — ain, the 24th letter of the Urdu alphabet.”

“Oh that reminds me Gill the Fish referred to jinns and on how they enabled Shehbaz Sharif to achieve progress in projects…”

“Truth will out – I mean I always thought that Shehbaz Sharif had a bunch of jinns but I guess Gill the Fish with access to some intelligence reports…”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway Cheema is acting as a small spoiler, Arif Alvi is acting as a Big Spoiler, but the two men have limited time during which they can act as spoilers….”

“Around 25 days for Alvi, though he has not yet sent back the summary to Sharif to remove Cheema for reconsideration, and there is a time period during which he has to send the summary back – let the constitution take its course is the only solution?”

“To be honest I have met Alvi a couple of times and he is a typical…typical…”

“A down to earth man surrounded by pomp and show but no powers?”

“No I was going to say a typical dentist…you know apologetic about the dentist chair with awesome machinery that can strike terror in the hearts of the bravest…”

“Precisely he epitomizes the naya Pakistan: select those least suited for a job in experience and/or temperament…”

“Indeed, but they were safe in their positions cause their performance was gauged by someone even less qualified or inclined to take the time to read the voluminous reports than they were.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022

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