PARTLY FACETIOUS: There’s no dearth of goods

20 Feb, 2021

“I am amazed.”

“At what? The fact that the government has been able to sell its narrative that secret voting means bribes in crores of rupees though I am not sure what the Senators can do to, how shall I put it…retrieve their investment at a rate of return that is well above the 7 percent discount rate while downgrading the legal and constitutional aspect…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“Hey, the government must refer the matter to Hafeez Sheikh because in economic terms if the one who accepts the bribe actually spends the entire amount then that may jumpstart the economy…”

“Well the housing amnesty scheme is ongoing so still possible but release of a large sum into the economy may also raise inflation because that would mean even more money than at present chasing too few goods being produced…”

“There is no dearth of goods in this country today – if our domestic industry does not meet demand then there are legal imports and a vibrant smugglers anonymous and…”

“You are being facetious.”

“Sorry, initially the Khan government upped the discount rate and downed the rupee value and imports were curtailed severely but we are a resilient people and legal imports of food items rose by more than 50 percent last month and…”

“Right, but how many people can spend 40 to 50 crores in one go! In any case Sheikh has sought the services of Jehangir Tareen, whose name requires a change from Sugar Baron to The Prodigal, and I wanted to ask whether he bothered to get The Khan’s approval before contacting…”

“I have it on good authority that Hafeez Sheikh is on the same page as The Khan…”

“Meaning what? That the string used by both men…”

“You know the kite flying string a la Subcontinent style, like all good things in our part of the world, is not without a cost…”

“I don’t think the string is expensive…”

“Hmm, and that comment shows to me that you have spent a lot of time abroad – like The Khan and the Bilawal, unlike the majority of the PML-N leadership who know that the string used in kites in our part of the world is deadly, as in fatal, and many have died as it has cut through…”

“That brings me back to what amazed me…Parveen M Rashid…”

“Last warning: get your keyboard changed.”

“Yeah, yeah anyway Parvez Middlesex Rashid, a name that I am told he took on during the premiership of Nawaz Sharif because…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know for a fact that his claim that his statements have unnerved The Khan are wishful thinking…The Khan remains extremely irritated by Bilawal’s ‘selected’ comment who is foreign educated like The Khan, Khawaja Asif who may have learnt the trick of abuse after he got an iqama but not Maryam Nawaz, I mean she has used so many epithets but nothing has stuck…”

“What’s your point?”

“What amazed me about Parvez Rashid’s recent dilemma is that he owed 94 lakhs to Punjab House – I mean how many months if not years did he stay there?”

“That didn’t amaze me, what amazed me is that he had 94 lakhs to clear his bill, I mean I thought he was one of us, middle class…”

“How many times has he been a senator?!”

“OKaaay…”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021

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