“When one door opens and the other closes, you are probably in jail.”
“Hey, I hope that is not a backhanded comment on recent judicial decisions by the anti-terrorist court…”
“No it’s not backhanded –it’s like the International Monetary Fund front loaded or handed if you will comment.”
“But protesters cannot go around destroying public property, I mean that requires some reprisal if you will.”
“Right, but the prosecution was very weak and failed to provide any evidence against…..”
“As weak as when the Deputy Prime Minister got exonerated from the court after hand writing a 40-page affidavit implicating his benefactor, his counterpart Samdhi, his….”
“Shut up anyway, I urge all Pakistan Tehrik-i-Insaaf convicts to see the glass as half full.”
“From jail?!”
“Yes, look at the terms: free three meals a day are provided, you do not have to pay for electricity, you do not need gas whose price is as high as electricity now, free laundry service….”
“Don’t be facetious.”
“You have to deal with whatever life doles out to you, and you know what: nine times out of ten you are responsible for where you are at.”
“I agree with that, did you hear the line: what do you call poetry written in jail: Prose and Cons!”
“I prefer what do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mug shot? The answer is a cellfie.”
“I have another: why are inmates so angry all the time? Cause they have bad cell service.”
“Anyway, there are some very famous celebrities who are currently in our jails – though I am not sure whether they have access to VIP jails or not.”
“Talk of our obsession with elite capture. I mean VIP jails! Are there such jails anywhere else in the world! Anyway did you hear the one about what do you call a celebrity in jail? A celebrity.”
“Not funny. But I heard VIP cells come with attached inmates who provide service associated with domestic-helpers… you know, clean up and….”
“I would pass on that! I mean convicted murderers!!”
“I reckon that those who committed non-violent crimes are used to provide service to the VIPs.”
“So why did the belt get arrested?”
“Because it no longer fit the inmate….see he gained weight and….”
“No because he held up the pants.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Perhaps you need a jail visit to understand.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
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