No way to die

Fame. Money. Stardom. Fandom. Limelight. Trolling. Shaming. Naming. Judging. Loneliness. Darkness. This is the yin and yang of being a celebrity.

Fame is wonderful. It is very popular. It is very desirable. It is very sought after. But it can be very detrimental. It can also be compulsive. It may also be obsessive. That is why to deal with it is to deal with a lure, a bait, that is irresistible.

The lives of stars and celebrities are envied. Most people want to be like them. What they do not realize is that fame is very costly, very consuming and very slippery.

The recent tragic deaths of two showbiz stars, one elderly Ayesha khan, the other young Humaira Asghar Ali, have really spotlighed the cost that these stars pay to be stars. The fact that both were in different stages of life, yet had similar endings to life is a moment of pain, reflection and introspection.

From Michael Jackson, arguably the pop king, to Robin Williams, arguably the comedy king, the story of superstar lives and their shocking deaths are lessons for all those who believe that these stars have it all. Many studies have been done on what young people think would make them happy-most say fame and money. Many studies also prove that fame and money are not the key to happiness.

The famous Harvard University study spanning 80 years of assessing who were the happiest people by the end of their lives has clearly said it was not fame, not money but the quality of their personal and social relationships that distinguished the happy ones from the unhappy ones. Fame has a way of cutting you off that breeds misery:

1. Fame and misfortune— For all the “fortune” fame brings, it also brings a lot of misfortune. Paul Burton the author/ journalist has outlined this in his book “Misfortune and fame”. He writes “Beyond the opulence and extravagance, there is poverty and privation. Amid the fun and frivolity, there is misery and madness.” Most people see the Instagram lives of these famous stars and are awe struck by their glamour. They do not see that most of them lead very difficult lives. The two guaranteed ways of being miserable is to lose your privacy and to be dependent on other people’s opinion. Famous people unfortunately suffer from both. They are subject to abnormal highs and lows. Whether showbiz or sports, when these stars are “hits” the world makes them feel like superpowers, when they fail, the trolling, the hate mails make them feel miserable. Imagine having all the money in the world and not being able to go anywhere freely without being hounded by media and public. You are literally hiding your face in public and caged in your security environment. The most famous power couple of India, Virat Kohli and Anushka Sharma, had to leave their home country in order to have the freedom to spend a normal life. The words of Anushka Sharma say it all, “Everyone should experience fame and wealth to understand that life is about more than those things.”

2. The rating game— The lives of these stars are very tough. They are subject to micro scrutiny not every day, but every second. There is a counter on their fame. Every word, every gesture, every silence, every absence is discussed, debated, scammed and damned. They are on alert 24/7. They have managers and teams who are constantly looking at their numbers versus others and cajoling them into doing something all the time. Every post, every move at home, in bedrooms, in gyms is being evaluated on the basis of the virality it may bring. Every sentence is being framed on its trending numbers. Every expression is designed for more “views”. This is high adrenaline, high octane but high anxiety, high panic material that is fodder for breakdowns and isolation.

This is what is happening to the stars. What about those hundreds who are struggling to become stars. They are cornered and hurting. The industry world over exploits these struggling artists. The powerful punish the powerless. The “MeToo” movement is an example of how actors, directors, producers, etc., harass and manipulate struggling artists. Many Pakistani actors have spoken about the casting couch and the exploitation by the big guns ruling the industry. Many of these struggling artists have to leave their homes, have been cut off by their families, and find it difficult to make both ends meet. This makes them easy victims for prowling predators-a sad and tragic setting for many who may be in the Humaira Asghar’s circumstances.

Can this be passed as “these things happen” approach? No. These things should not happen. There should be support available for preventing such appalling apathy to human degradation:

1. From content makers to contentment makers— The social media has short circuited the process of growing up and maturing. Young people entering the industry star struck by the TikTok and Instagram world, feel they can make it big if they are providing viral content. They hear “content is the king”. But content enslaves them. If the content they post is not making them famous they suffer from discontent, desperation and depression. Time for all these organizations to post a lot of material educating them about what works and what kills. The need to have more material made in a nice story telling way of the hazards of the content rat race. Educating them on the real way to be content and not just a content maker is urgent and important.

2. The family/friends support system— Regardless of your profession, age, stage, every artist must have one family member and one friend who is their lifeline even if all others are not supportive. These two people are not just your confidants but your emotional insurance that save you in your times of lows. Always keep them informed. Always seek them out. Always connect to them. Always share everything with them.

3. The industry responsibility— The industry needs to do much more than post nicely worded condolences that go viral. There is an association that is called ACT Actor’s Collective Trust. ACT needs to get their act together and ACT more.

They did arrange prayers for Ayesha and Humaira that were thinly attended. What they need to do is to arrange fund-raising for artist emergencies. They also need to provide mental health facilitation in partnership with some organization. They also need to create artist mentors on their panel for career advice and help to emerging artists.

Social media is cruel. Instagram is callous. The life of a post expires in a few hours or days. As I write many are suffering. The community and fraternity can end their suffering not with death but with helping them to live, to be alive and to belong to another being. While we agree this is no way to die, we must also commit to “this is no way to live”. As Islam teaches, to be able to save one life is to save the whole humanity.

Copyright Business Recorder, 2025