PARTLY FACETIOUS: ‘We can no longer suffer accountants gladly’

“Just wondering about war strategies.”

“Yes, daily exchange of fire across our borders with India after the Pahalgam attack…”

“I am hoping that better sense will prevail…..”

“Oh, were you referring to the terror attacks on our border with Afghanistan, I mean don’t our intelligence agencies reckon India has a hand in…”

“Right but that’s not what I was referring to when I mentioned war strategies…..for example Israel’s war strategy is to assassinate the leadership, they killed the Hezbollah leader, they killed the Hamas leadership — the one Israel was engaged in dialogue with and the commander in Gaza, there is also talk of Israel considering decapitating the Iranian leadership before launching an attack and….”

“Ah I see so are you asking if India is considering a similar strategy. If you recall, Ziaul Haq and Benazir Bhutto were both assassinated – the former cost the taxpayers a rather expensive plane and Benazir Bhutto…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“No, no, I am merely saying that Ziaul Haq’s assassination…”

“Shut up right now. And for your information, I don’t think there is irrefutable proof that the two assassinations were carried out by enemy forces – I mean the jury is still out on that and…”

“We don’t have a jury system, thank you. We have a judiciary in sufficient numbers courtesy the twenty-sixth amendment, and the Law Minister is currently engaged in ironing out a minor irritant relating to judges’ transfers and seniority…”

“What do you think of us adopting a jury system?”

“Not workable here at all.”

“How come, it is working in other parts of the world.”

“Jury system is based on the peers of the accused passing judgment now I ask you does The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless have any peers, does The Third Wife, a spiritual guide no less, have any peers and…”

“Wait, wouldn’t Wife Number one…”

“She is no longer someone whose guidance he listens to.”

“Right OK, so the jury system is out, and judges are in, in great numbers – one question, is anyone keeping a tab on how many pending cases today compared to before the judiciary strength was increased…and…”

“We are not good with numbers, my friend.”

“We need an accountant…”

“We can no longer suffer accountants gladly.”

“The expression is suffer fools…”

“You are obtuse.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2025