A culture where you belong

Out of place. Outcast. Out of sync. These are memories that hold. These are moments that hurt. These are times that sting. Such feelings go back a long way. In school, maybe with a particular class teacher.

In a family gathering when you felt left out. On a birthday where you were the odd one out. In a relationship where you were two but one. In a gathering where you felt too old, or too young, or too “desi” or too “simple” or too “flashy”.

In a workplace where there were many colleagues but you were the stranger. The sense of not belonging is an emotional cancer. It eats you up. It makes you alone. It makes you feel deserted. It erodes your self worth. Such aloneness then diminishes your talent, skills and productivity ripening the case for anxiety and depression.

What is this “need for belonging”? Dr Geoffrey Cohen, a professor of Psychology at Stanford, says “as a social species, we’ve evolved to be exquisitely attuned to whether or not we belong in our group, with our tribe, with our kin, and that includes our fictive kin.” The need to belong is acute from birth.

Children’s behaviour or misbehaviour is associated with their need to be accepted, blended and encouraged in various groups. It continues through life till you join associations and organizations. In organizations the search for finding talent is very important but to find a cultural fit is way down in the priorities.

The cultural adjustment is so important that even within multinational organizations the head-office culture prevails. Many times employees feel they do not belong when they shift from a European origin company to an American company.

The question then is that with all the talk of companies developing a conducive culture, why do so many employees feel “this is not a place for them”? Some companies call it the need to develop positive cultures, others say a conducive culture.

You can name it whatever, the real question is whether people working in your companies feel a sense of belonging or not? That is why the need for creating a workplace where people do not feel out of place. A belonging culture needs to be developed by:

1. Belonging sentiment analysis— What are the emotions that make people feel at home in the office? How do people feel at home? Comfortable, safe, loved and supported. If these are the feelings that make people long for their homes, can they be replicated in the office? These are the questions companies need to ask their employees to be able to assess their cultural affinity. Comfortable as home is seen in many ways. The way each employee sees it needs to be surveyed and decided. Many companies think they are working on employee comfort. They invest in infrastructure facilities. They put up coffee hangouts, mini restaurants, gyms, even hair salons for employees working late hours. Excellent and needed. But is this enough? No. Physical comforts have to be matched with emotional comforts. Are people sitting in big plush office spaces but feeling suffocated? Are people running on the fancy gym treadmill but feeling as if they are not getting anywhere? That then is the assessment that needs to be done. Many organizations take great pains to provide parking spaces and daycares for female employees but forget to support and provide leadership space to stand up in boardrooms. The belonging survey needs to be carried out twice a year to evaluate the degree of employee attachment or detachment present in the company.

2. Core belonging values-– So what are the core values that create the bonding of an employee to the office? The core human desires stem from being accepted for their uniqueness. Identity is the first fundamental that workers want. Being seen, being remembered is an acceptance of their identity and presence. When people feel as if they exist but do not exist, it creates an identity crisis in them. How wonderful it feels when your teacher or somebody high-up in the organization meets you after a long time and calls your name. That is an identity affirmation. Another need is to be involved and included. The amazement at a junior member’s face when he was asked by a department head what he thinks should be done, will remain a “memory” for the junior for a long time. That desire to be part of the process, part of the story, part of the team and being able to express himself or herself is priceless. Another core value is to be trusted. That means that people feel that they are empowered to do work their way without interference. That makes them create a reason for liking and bonding. To be trusted is the only way to increase the sense of belonging and ownership in a culture. Another feeling that increases fondness is to be part of a bigger purpose than just their JDs. Those who can see their work contributing to a larger cause will feel that they are doing something worthwhile.

3. Institutionalize belonging behaviours— The real challenge is to not only make some people feel a sense of belonging but inculcating it in the culture of the organization. That is why it is important that firstly the behaviours need to be spelt out. Secondly, they should be communicated from top to bottom. Thirdly, a system of performance analysis based on them should be developed. Thus the organization has to build in standard ‘One-to-Ones’ on managers to seek out their teams. They need to individualize their knowledge about each person, his background, his highs and lows, etc. The need to be recognized needs to be standardized by celebrating good performances institutionally. The organization needs to develop a line of sight where each manager has to develop a connect of the lowest level employee to the higher goals of the company. Just imagine the motivation and affinity level of a peon when you explain to him why the customer who is coming is important and it is the service and coffee the peon gives that will decide the fate of the deal.

There is too much attention on the amazing designs and exteriors of the offices and too little on the amazing interior estrangement behviours of the office holders. The immaculate standard welcome note written by a manger can never substitute for the unwelcome body language of people sitting in these offices. The 3Ws formula—warm, welcome and worthy—is the best emotional glue that makes people want to stay and give their very best.

Copyright Business Recorder, 2025