PARTLY FACETIOUS: It’s badminton!

“Our politicians are playing badminton. Again.”

“I will have you know that Nawaz Sharif has a platelet issue and therefore cannot play badminton.”

“I thought that issue has been resolved in the UK.”

“Yes it’s the climate there – it resolves very many medical issues but if he returns the issue may resurface. I propose to The Khan…”

“He does not have a platelet issue, or any other medical issues that are a common occurrence in the status quo politicians.”

“I know but all I wanted to point out to him is that a valuable lesson learned in the event that he is re-seated as the prime minister…”

“Reseated?”

“If one is de-seated then linguistically one should be able to be reseated.”

“Hmmm, more than just linguistically after all the PPP has ruled in the centre four times…”

“But with three different party leaders and I would like to point out that the Bhuttos, father and daughter, paid the ultimate price of being in politics while Zardari sahib, the PhD in survival, is grooming the Bhutto-Zardaris hopefully not to pay that high a price…”

“I agree, it’s a learned skill and need I add Nawaz Sharif is also a PhD as he has ruled the country three times.”

“Anyway when I said The Khan needs to learn a lesson then I would suggest that if he is reseated he should treat all those with a platelet problem and in jail with a trip to the UK and…”

“You crazy! I doubt if the UK will issue a visa to our prisoners, not unless they can pay their own way.”

“That’s where Benazir Income Support Programme can contribute: all those in jail with a platelet issue…”

“Oh stop! Don’t be facetious. Besides I know Hamza Shehbaz has allocated 5 billion rupees to improve the correctional facilities of Punjab but I doubt if that amount is enough to send those with high platelets to London, besides once there, where will they stay?”

“Avenfield flats.”

“They are not panagahs for Pete’s sake.”

“The Sharif’s charity is legendary…”

“Never heard of any personal donations by Nawaz Sharif or Maryam Nawaz or….”

“Not much will be required, I mean if Rs 5 billion pension fund set up by Miftah Ismail is considered enough to deal with a pension budget of 530 billion rupees then…”

“Oh dear! That’s what I meant by playing badminton: what The Khan accused the PML-N for in 2018 (depleted treasury and a $ 20 billion current account deficit) that forced him to raise gas prices by what was it? 200 percent? A raise that was one of the persistent criticisms by the PML-N against The Khan administration till April this year and not two months later The Khan is levelling the same charges against the PML-N. Now that isn’t tennis cause that’s a faster game, it’s badminton.”

“I would have to agree.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022