PARTLY FACETIOUS: Do we have a jury in Pakistan?

“I am apolitical…”

“Congratulations! You are perhaps the only animal in this country who is apolitical today.”

“I said I am apolitical not neutral.”

“Don’t be a smarty pants.”

“OK, apolitical to me means I am a swing voter so hear ye hear ye all! Promise me the moon and I will then decide who means it less…”

“You being facetious!”

“Indeed and neutral is someone called to be the judge and in some instances the jury…”

“Do we have a jury in this country?”

“We are the most opinionated people in the world — our ranking is right up there in the global perception index…”

“On corruption?”

“Nope?”

“Give up.”

“Right up there with being one of the most charitable countries of the world. Anyway we are all jury members…”

“So the mafia takes with one hand, doesn’t file returns so doesn’t pay direct taxes and then gives for charity with an open heart and hand and…”

“Are you referring to Jehangir Tareen and Aleem Khan’s charities?”

“Hmmm, not quite — you gotta identify the poor first and…”

“And if there is a problem in identifying the poor then hire the services of Dr Sania Nishtar — I hear she is very competent in identifying the indigent…”

“Why not just take the list of Benazir Income Support Programme beneficiaries?”

“That too, anyway when I said I was apolitical all I wanted to say was that the judgment was a good one and I hope that from now on all administrations please, please, learn from their own past mistakes and from their brothers, fathers, uncles mistakes…”

“If wishes were horses.”

“Wishes have been horses in this country…I wished for a verdict that I could support a 100 percent and viola there was Llamerei.”

“What?”

“The name of Merlin the Magician’s horse was Llamerei.”

“Oh stop with the magicians already!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022