"You have to see the glass as half full - I mean such pessimism on all matters is not healthy for you."
"So you reckon locking the doors of the press gallery...."
"Hey there is always a first time so stop. That's not what I was referring to when I asked you to be more optimistic about unfolded events...."
"I never came across the use of the word unfolding in the past tense but I guess it's grammatically correct."
"There you go, that's another first. Anyway I was referring to the results of the cantonment boards and those who are saying that The Khan needs to look for another name to replace The Buzz that starts with an ain, the 24th letter of the Urdu alphabet which has magical properties and...."
"Hey I was just struck by a thought - what about an ain married to a non ain....."
"Don't go there....anyway going back to what I was saying The Khan needs to perhaps replace The Buzz because...."
"You don't get rid of Maryam Nawaz whose silence during the cantonment board elections was propitious and The Khan won't get rid of The Buzz whose presence during the elections was non-propitious...."
"Hey Maryam Nawaz is the daughter of the supremo, The Buzz is just someone picked out of a hat...."
"And the only one I know who wears a hat is Shahbaz Sharif."
"Hmmm you are right there, any way if not The Buzz then who?"
"See Asad Umer is already the deputy prime minister, though the number of committees he heads does not exceed Dar's....yeah yeah Dar was related Umer is not but then Dar has no ain in his name and Umer does...."
"Aleem Khan is gone even though I heard he had replaced alif (the first alphabet in Urdu) with ain."
"No, please brush up your Urdu, Aleem starts with ain..."
"Shush, anyway can't think of anyone else. One question do Anglo-Saxon names have an ain? If not then that explains a lot and...."
"Do be quiet - you know there is a name from our history that starts with an ain and is somehow not leaving my conscious thought and...."
"Go ahead, spill it, maybe someone with that name can come forward as a candidate for the Punjab chief minister slot."
"That starts with alif not ain - you elitist! Not knowing your own alphabet!"
"I accept the punishment."
"Right, no western clothes for one month."
Copyright Business Recorder, 2021