PARTLY FACETIOUS:'Shut up and just shut up'

"You know what the problem is with being on the same page!"

"As I keep saying to you shut up and just shut up."

"I thought the phrase was shut up or put up not shut up and just shut up."

"We are not talking of the West we are talking of the East and more particularly Pakistan. I mean look at The Khan, many of the U-turns are based on his earlier comments based on his experience in the west which have had to be modified since he became the Prime Minister..."

"Give an example."

"The most recent example is his retraction from his earlier comment that women's clothes maybe a temptation for the rapist...and recently he said the fault lies with the rapist not the victim but sadly did mention the word temptation again, which is not quite appropriate in relation to a rapist if you know what I mean."

"Well, to be honest, I reckon the East in him is at war with the West that is no longer resident in him and..."

"And the West won in the end!"

"Shhhh, anyway you reckon here in Pakistan we shut up and just shut up! But I disagree I mean here are cases of journalist bashing but there are many more cases of envelope (lifafah) journalism and..."

"I wasn't referring to journalists and you know that. Can I please complete my statement?"

"You don't see any connections in my statements, you are..."

"Stop! Anyway I want to say that no two people can read at the same pace for ever - and that is a prerequisite for staying on the same page."

"Well five years is the minimum and..."

"Stop, I said. And I have it on good authority that another foreign educated leader of a party, who went to the same alma mater as his grandfather Z A Bhutto, I mean Oxford, has somehow caught up on his reading and is on the same page."

"If you are referring to his rather abrupt departure for the US during the AJK election campaign where the party did unexpectedly very, very, well..."

"You are not going to give up on your conspiracy theories are you?"

"And...and wait Blinken was in India and Biden has not called The Khan yet though US engagement with other key Pakistani personalities is ongoing..."

"You are so full of it."

"That's a Pakistani characteristic - being full of hot air and need I add I am proud to be Pakistani."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021