Partly Facetious: There's need to change laws

ARTICLE: "Big G held another press conference..."

"Big G as in Big Gun?"

"Indeed, but more precisely Bigger Girth also known as Shahzad G Akbar, with the G standing for girth..."

"Isn't that libelous?"

"Libelous is when something is not true right?"

"Oh so you reckon that as it is visibly verifiable like the wealth of the sugar barons he would have no case?!"

"Don't be facetious, I was referring to the fact that our defamation laws are not implemented, and need I add there is a need to change laws, many, many laws..."

"We don't have a law minister anymore, he has resigned a second time to defend an action that was perhaps, note the use of the word perhaps or alleged is more appropriate, landed the government in a legal dispute that it may not win with repercussions on some members of the executive and..."

"No my concern is different. I like Shazad G Akbar I mean the guy lends some spice to our drab existence, what with the Coronavirus and locust attacks, an interest rate that remains too high and..."

"Hey, he aint gonna start jogging just cause you say so."

"I agree, but he may start jogging if the Prime Minister says so."

"That's true - I mean he isn't heading an autonomous body like say the State Bank of Pakistan...."

"Shhh leave that be; anyway The Khan can summon a meeting of all his special assistants and force them to jog in the morning with him and..."

"I don't know of any other special assistant who is gaining weight - there is Dr Zafar Mirza, then Moeed Qureshi, Sania Nishtar, Zulfi Bukhari, Nadeem Babar and Shahbaz Gill though his face is getting a bit puffy..."

"Ok, so it's Shahzad G Akbar alone and need I add, he should feel blessed to have this alone time with The Khan."

"What maybe a blessing for you may be a curse for another!"

"But The Big G will not allow a single frown to crease his face as he huffs and puffs to keep up with The Khan. Besides as being overweight has health issues Shazad G Akbar's family would bless The Khan for ensuring he lives a long life."

"There I would agree."