Disillusioned doctor: How I built a dermatology practice on my own terms

When I look back at how this journey began, it doesn’t feel glamorous in the least. It feels real, with lots of road bumps, pitfalls and trial and error thrown in for good measure. Freshly out of my dermatology specialization and with my MCPS (Member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons) in hand, I quickly started out as a consultant in a multi-speciality clinic in Islamabad, excited to practice medicine sincerely.

Very quickly though, I realised something that disturbed me then and still disturbs me today; most people who own clinics and hospitals aren’t doctors…and the lack of empathy becomes apparent quite early on.

There were rules that had nothing to do with patient well-being. Recommend more tests. Keep them coming back. Don’t give them choices. These were actual instructions and it made me very uncomfortable. Many times, I’d have a patient in front of me needing a procedure or a specific machine to carry out that particular procedure (one that the clinic simply didn’t have) but the expectation remained the same, to figure it out and just wing it.

That didn’t sit well with me. I wasn’t ready to treat people like numbers or opportunities. I wanted to sleep peacefully at night, knowing I had done right by those who put their trust in me. That’s how Clear Canvas was born in 2023, out of major disillusionment. I wanted to call the shots on my own terms. I also had this burning desire in me to practice dermatology with integrity and a clear conscience.

Being a woman in business, especially in Pakistan, comes with its own curriculum of bizarre and sometimes hurtful lessons. I remember someone in my extended family once asking me, “Oh, so you earn on your own now? You have your own clinic? You must really lord it over your husband then.”

I was stunned. Just because I work hard and have my own financial independence, does that make me threatening? Superior? Out of line? This is the strange thinking that women entrepreneurs in our neck of the woods have to face on a regular basis. When my brother started his business, no one doubted him, there were no discouraging predictions. But for women, a dream carries a caution sign…it may sound unoriginal, but one is compelled to blame the patriarchy.

I wasn’t ready to treat people like numbers or opportunities. I wanted to sleep peacefully at night, knowing I had done right by those who put their trust in me

And then there’s the objectification…subtle sometimes, but very obvious other times. Dermatology is largely female-dominated, so I’m fortunate in that sense, but being on social media and being visible still comes with its baggage. I’ve had men make inappropriate comments or make me uncomfortable. But over time I’ve learned to be laser-focused about what I’m building. I’m not here to shrink myself. What allowed me to do that, honestly, was the strength I drew from the people closest to me.

When the world tries to try and put you in your ‘place,’ the right support system can expand you. Having a partner who genuinely has your back, who sees your potential even before you recognize it yourself, is an incredible gift. Without my husband’s faith in me, I doubt I would have taken the leap of faith to launch my own practice.

My mother and brothers, too, were my anchors…they raised me to be a woman who knows what she wants and doesn’t apologize for it. Not to mention my children, who keep telling me how proud they are of their mama and her ‘cool’ clinic. Their belief in me makes it easier to continue on this petrifying path of entrepreneurship that I chose just two years ago!

Being a woman in business, especially in Pakistan, comes with its own curriculum of bizarre and sometimes hurtful lessons

Balancing the dual identity of doctor and entrepreneur has its own learning curve, but I’ve always been clear about one thing, I’m a doctor first. My patients aren’t clients, they’re human beings who trust me with their insecurities. If you’re a good doctor, the business always follows…it’s never the other way around.

As I’ve grown, I do feel that my entire notion of ambition has completely transformed. In the early years it was all about survival, making ends meet and literally just living pay check to pay check. Now, it’s about inner, personal growth. I want to keep learning. I want to remain a student always. Growth as a doctor, as a woman, as a human being, that’s my definition of ambition.

If I could offer one piece of advice to young women, it would be that before you become a wife, before life starts handing you responsibilities, become financially strong. Build a career and build stability for yourself. It’s your armour in a society that often tries to confine women to one role. If you choose to be a housewife, that’s beautiful. But choose it from a place of strength, not suppression or fear. You simply must remember this. Stand on your own two feet first, lean into who you are and what you have to offer the world…everything else will follow.