What a speaker! She mesmerizes people with her eloquence. Great Communicator! When he talks, people listen. These are the comments we hear about leaders. These are sentiments we experience when an orator knows the art of public speaking.
Most studies underline the importance of communication being one of the top qualities that a person must possess to get ahead in life.
The image of a leader is who makes blazing speeches, out speaks the opposition, guides and directs constantly to lead and inspire is popular. Correct but incorrect.
The great speaker impresses. The great orator mesmerizes. But only in a speaking contest. If the habit of speaking and waiting for applause becomes ingrained, which it does, the results are counterproductive. When the podium speaking carries forward in meetings and conversations, it dis-inspires.
The going perception of the glib talker in sales winning big accounts is also a byproduct of “speaker wins all” syndrome. In interviews those who are able to confidently and energetically present themselves are much more likely to get the hiring nod. The smooth presenter holds attention and convinces other people on their ideas quickly. These images flash across our minds and create perceptions of superiority. That is why there are millions of courses on communication. That is why the social media is full of wise tips on how to speak well. That is why most professional people will tell you of how many days of training they have got in speaking with impact. Ask the same people how many days trainings have you got on listening and the answer will be something like “Well we had a three-month course on communication and we did have a two hour session on active listening.” That is why the dearth of great leaders. That is why there is a lack of relationship salesmen. That is why the corporate world is sick of the sickness of verbal diarrhea leaders. The power of a leader, a salesman, a counsellor when he is not speaking is far greater than when he is speaking due to:
1- The cost of corporate deafness— The biggest problem in organizations is the employee disengagement. Employee retention is closely tied to how valued individuals feel in their roles. Most studies show that the employees feel that they are just a number on the head count. In a study of about 14,000 employees from LinkedIn and Jacob Morgan, only 8% of employees reported that their mid- and senior-level leaders practiced the skill of listening “very well.” They feel unheard and un-understood. Take a typical case. An employee has an issue. His boss magnanimously calls him for a one to one. The employee starts to tell his problem. The boss scrolls on his mobile. The boss looks at his watch and before the employee is heard starts giving him a lecture about how when he was in the employee’s place he would do so much more with so much less. Such bosses are sarcastically called BMs, i.e., Bhashan Masters (lecture givers). Such conversations that the boss thinks will solve the problem and motivate people does the opposite. They are actually telling employees how unrealistic and stupid they are compared to when their bosses at the same position. Such interactions make the employees feel irrelevant, belittled, ignored and hurt. The “know all” and “talk all” bosses create a culture where top-down communication suppresses employees’ feelings. This in turn results in loss of trust, productivity and loyalty.
2- Silence is gold— It actually is, if done the right way. Now just imagine a negotiation meeting. The customer and the seller are trying to settle a deal. The glib salesperson will keep on talking and giving a chance to his customer to pick on points. The “real” seller will let the customer dominate the deal talk. He is silent and calm, writing down all the points the customer is making. Remember you are in control when you are quiet not when you are talking and talking. A silence that exhibits concern, that shows calm, that is measured creates such a powerful aura of assured leadership. The silent leader is one who will make the employee feel heard. The silent leader is a great observer. The silent leader is a thinker and adapter. He is also a healer. When employees are listened to they feel more of a sense of belonging and motivated. According to a study by the Harvard Business Review, managers who are perceived as good listeners are rated as 37% more effective in their roles. Unfortunately, attentive silence is rare. According to research from The Workforce Institute, 86% of employees feel they are not heard “fairly or equally,” and 63% believe their voice has been ignored by their employer or manager.
3- Reflect and heal— Most people feel smarter when they are talking, advising, counselling. These are all good conversations. However, the idea is to allow the other party to first pour out all their problems and issues. This process can be encouraged through reflective listening. This is a technique that is used by therapists to encourage people to download all their thoughts and emotions. People do not necessarily want solutions but they do necessarily want to be heard. The billion-dollar therapy industry uses this technique to feel people being heard and understood without any bias. The idea is to use the power of the unsaid. While people talk to the leader or therapist from time to time paraphrases or mirrors what they are saying. This means repeating what the person is saying in a compassionate manner. By repeating what the person is saying, they are giving this assurance that they are completely listening and understanding the person. In most cases, the person will open up and feel so comfortable that they will feel a bond of trust developing.
The unsaid is always more interesting than the said. The art of creating an open receptive culture where people feel safe and encouraged to detoxify suffocating blockages can do miracles in terms of engagement and productivity. Gallup reports that employees who feel their voice is heard are 4.6 times more likely to feel empowered to perform their best work
As Rumi says, “Silence is an ocean. Speech is a river. When the ocean is searching for you, don’t walk into the river. Listen to the ocean.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
The writer is a columnist, consultant, coach, and an analyst and can be reached at [email protected]
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