“Please, please, please could someone disappear the Gilani clan?” “Excuse me! Syed Ali Shah Geelani was a much respected Kashmiri leader who dedicated his entire life to fight against Indian abuse, he died last year by the way and I find your comment extremely offensive.”
“Gilani with no ee’s my friend – I said Gilani, and not Geelani…”
“It’s written the same way in Urdu, I mean the English spelling maybe different but that is dependent on who is doing the spelling.”
“When I am tired I am not too generous with the use of letters so I may replace the two ee’s with an i….”
“Is this your focus given what’s happening around the country and globally!”
“OK already, anyway when I said someone please disappear the Gilani clan…”
“The issue of the disappeared is felt along the length and breadth of the Land of the Pure…”
“Dear God!”
“What?”
“I understand the disappeared is a major issue but when I said to disappear the clan Gilani I only meant…”
“Whatever you meant it’s not right to even utter that word because its connotations in Pakistan are extremely horrendous for the families of the disappeared and…”
“Can I please say what I want to say about the Gilani clan now?”
“Gilani as in…”
“Yousaf Raza who was disqualified by the court for five years.”
“Yes I do recall but Zardari sahib has favoured him since then and in spite of losing the seat in the 2018 elections he is a member of the Senate. But why do you want him and his clan to disappear?”
“Angelina Jolie is in town and if you recall when she was here during the floods of 2010 Gilani as prime minister gave her a lavish meal at the taxpayers’ expense and called all his clan members…”
“Right I read her take on that at the time, anyway look at the glass as half full…why doesn’t Gilani give personal money for the flood relief victims…”
“Why doesn’t Maryam Nawaz, why doesn’t daddy, why doesn’t Uncle, why doesn’t Zardari sahib, why doesn’t…”
“Why doesn’t The Khan from the money he earned out of sale of gifts from toshakhana?”
“Get your facts straight – the gifts were The Khan’s not the toshakhanas.”
“But…but…”
“Just shut up.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2022
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