Partly Facetious: A scientific approach?

11 Apr, 2020

"The Khan administration, I will have ye all of little faith know, is assessing the on-the-ground situation every day before tweaking if required its strategy on a daily basis on how to deal with the Coronavirus..."

"It's a very scientific approach..."

"Indeed, and I for the life of me cannot understand why you are laughing."

"The Khan has very limited knowledge about science in general and like the rest of the world leaders Coronavirus in particular but look at the bright side like his US and UK counterparts..."

"Two things, first The Khan may not have a scientific bone in his body but as the captain of the cricket team he constantly evaluated the strength and weaknesses of his own team members as well as those of his opponents and that is standing him in good stead today. And second Trump and Johnson not good examples my friend - one is forcing quinine or anti-malarial tablets down the throat of the medical providers without any proof and the other is ill in hospital with the disease, so much for following the social distancing approach he supports. Besides both men have been unable to check the spread of the virus in their own countries...and will you stop laughing..."

"I just want to point out that a Chinese doctor has cautioned the government in basing its policy on an assessment that is flawed because of the very small percentage being tested in the country and those countries that have been successful in containing the virus have actually tested large segments of their public and as new epicenters emerge placed them under an immediate lock down. Second, the young may have a higher survival rate but in Pakistan the ratio of deaths to those small numbers tested is 7 to 8 percentage points higher than the average in even Italy and Spain and..."

"Did you hear the nursery rhyme of Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and all the King's men couldn't put him back together..."

"I don't get you! Who are you referring to as Humpty Dumpty! There is no one, but no one, in The Khan's rather large cabinet who is as fat as HP, and more to the point as fragile as HP..."

"Right, with the outing of Batman and his Batmobile..."

"I guess outing is defined as out of favour but I tell you just cause Jehangir Tareen is out of favour does not mean he has no capacity to reemerge as a political force..."

"There I agree, and I would advise The Khan to resist what Nawaz Sharif, Zardari sahib and the two great assassinated leaders of the PPP, and all those who lost their position as the country's chief executive including Musharraf could not resist: sycophancy and the perception that they are in this position for life."

"Good advice."

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