PARTLY FACETIOUS: Spiritual guides have the capacity to reach beyond a jail cell?

“The conduct of war has undergone a change and perhaps we need to learn some lessons.”

“We did win from India as you know, so I don’t understand…oh wait are you referring to the spike in terror attacks by the Taliban who then escape to Afghanistan.”

“I would argue they are provided sanctuary by the Afghan Taliban, but no, that was not the change in warfare that I was referring to.”

“Are you by any chance referring to the war of words between…”

“No not between powerful countries because that is now at a peak – the Russians have reportedly said they will retaliate against the Americans after their oil tanker bearing their flag was seized by the US Coast Guard and the Chinese have insisted that all oil deals signed between Venezuela and China…”

“That’s a quagmire right now, and I don’t want to talk about that, time will bring clarity as to what the Russians and Chinese will do in retaliation and there is no point is speculating. What I wanted to talk about was the change in warfare…”

“Oh wait, I think I have got it. The war of words between political parties – The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless who has been denied a meeting with his party leaders and a member of his family last met him over a month ago, and therefore he cannot be held responsible for…”

“Not that either. But that reminds me — I think the powers that be have finally come up with the right checkmate in dealing with him – a much better check mate than denying him a visit from those outside the jail. It was reported that he was allowed to meet the third wife for 45 minutes and I reckon that was enough time for her to, how shall I put it, give him spiritual guidance that would come home to roost.”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“All his decisions when he was in power and all the 200 plus cases against him are, as per senior leadership of the party that wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, can be sourced to her guidance that trumped all others.”

“I have it on good authority that spiritual guides have the capacity to reach beyond a jail cell…”

“OK I stand down anyway the change in warfare that I am referring to is the decapitation strategy – the phones blow-up in Lebanon, the killing of the Hamas leader in Iran, the killing of the Iranian leadership, the unsuccessful attack on Hamas negotiators in Doha and…”

“What about the attack on Putin’s residence?”

“Well Zelenskyy is Jewish with reported close ties with Israeli leadership.”

“Hmmm and don’t forget Maduro’s…”

“Right, but most of these decapitation efforts can be effectively neutralized with air defence systems.”

“But still, where there is a will…”

“I don’t think we in the Sub-Continent need to worry, OK we do need to worry if we come to the aid of Iran in the event of an impending Israeli attack…”

“Viola.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2026