Make the leader’s presence count

You can feel the presence. The energy is palpable. The vibe is poignant. Some people spark interest and attention without doing the fancy stuff; others with all their mighty positions and dandy appearances just pale into insignificance.

Presence is what distinguishes the ordinary from the extraordinary. Presence is usually mistaken for the guy who hogs the attention. The loud baritone voice. The ability to fluently and frequently comment on given topics. The hustle-bustle of the person. The social media presence etc.

While all these get attention, they may not lead to attracting people beyond that. Presence is the energy yet composure of the person who communicates selectively is emotionally intelligent and comes out as a trustworthy individual. This is a tough combination of traits but can definitely be worked upon.

People with presence are not only able to win over a lot of friends but have a disarming effect on opponents. The best example of this is the New York Mayor, Zohran Mamdani. He is an exceptionally articulate speaker. One would assume that somebody as gifted in oratory as he is would find it difficult to win over opponents who also love to speak. Point in case being Donald Trump. Trump holds the seat of power.

Mamdani is less than half his age. Less than half his power. Less than half his experience. With such diametrically opposite philosophies and opinions, their meeting was supposed to be a blasting mud-slinger. It turned out to be a pleasant encounter in the Oval office in front of a media hungry to trigger a verbal duel between them.

What they encountered was a very cordial and pleasant meeting. It was President Trump who was defending Mamdani. Even when the reporters asked Mamdani if he still thought Trump was a fascist, it was Trump who answered, brushing it off humourously by saying, “Yes. I will reply on his behalf.” The social media just went berserk for days trying to analyze how Mamdani’s quiet and calm demeanour had acted as the taming of the shrew in his meeting with Trump.

Leadership presence is not just about a gift of the gab, it is about connecting to the other person in a manner that makes them connect to you, relate to you, seek you. Let us look at some of the ways of having a presence that makes itself felt:

Presence Principle #1 – Connect to the whole person:

Presence is about having your whole being there. Presence is about being able to appeal to the whole being of other people. The totality of being human includes the heart, the body, the mind, the soul. Presence means you are present in all of them. Presence means appealing to these four elements of other people.

An employee once told me sarcastically about a CEO who was making a great speech. “Nice talk. Heard it so many times that I can almost lip sync it.” Another employee said to me about a different CEO. “Nice speech, have heard it so many times, but every time it hits the heart.” What is the difference between the two? The first may be an articulate man whose speech is delivered nicely. He may impress people but may not influence them.

To influence, the mind and the heart has to feel inclined. That depends on the leader’s trustworthiness. If he is a person whose words have actions that substantiate what he is saying, people will listen and follow it. When such a person enters any domain he has the credibility that makes his presence sought-after. Most people talk really well, but so do many talk show hosts.

In social media terms they may have followers in millions. Many of them get done and dusted after a while as their real behaviour and character becomes visible. The very person who has a spectacular presence behind the camera gets transformed into somebody who has to hide themselves from the public as their credibility becomes questionable.

Presence Principle#2 – Be genuinely interested: The second principle is interest begets interest. Presence becomes potent when they are connected to the presence of others. A listless quiet presence will be overlooked. An energetic but arrogant presence will be avoided. A quiet but curious and concerned presence will be signaling warm welcome. That means you have to say less. That means you listen more. That means you ask and take interest in their interests.

The underlying factor will be how sincere you are in knowing more about them. When you say less, people want to hear you more. That presence where people want to talk to you, seek your talk is what gives importance to your presence.

Presence Principle#3 – Find a common bridge: Presence is enhanced when you win over the tough ones by building bridges that talk about commonalities. During Zohran Mamdani and Trump’s meeting at the Oval office, the striking presence of Zohran was visible by how he dealt with rile attacks of the media.

When riled about the totally opposite views from Trump, he said that both had the same agenda of reducing the cost of living in US. This set off the tone of conciliation and reciprocity from Trump. Despite Mamdani speaking less, the meeting was all about his mannerism, selective conversation and impact.

Presence Principle#4-Remember the little details: People with presence are really present. They do not let distractions make them gaze blankly at other people. They remember small details. Taking somebody’s name when they least expect is a small act but a big winner. Including a shy participant in the conversation warms hearts. Appreciating a random but useful insight from a negative individual adds positive energy.

The difficulty about presence is that you cannot fake it for long. You may be able to use charm to impress people, but if your intent is to put up a farcical impression, impact will be temporary. For more sustainable results sincerity is non-negotiable. That is why we have these come, make a presence, vanish, forgotten shooting stars. The real presence is when it leaves a mark when it is not there. That then is not a case of being out of sight, out of mind. To put it succinctly, the litmus test of “presence” is in its absence.