“The Pakistani Spare has gone off to the UK?”
“Speaking of the UK Spare the British media has nixed the movie contract that the Spare’s Spouse was negotiating with Guy Ritchie, a well-known British director, producer, on occasion writer….”
“The Power of the Media remains hunh! And this in spite of the fact that the younger generation of the British are opting out of paying the licence fee – the outlets bread and butter….”
“Why don’t they do what we do? Take away the option of not paying the fee, based on their refusal to watch the channel due to biased news reporting.”
“Well that may be the view of the British under 40s but let me tell you those in power in Pakistan still value their own coverage in the Western media.”
“Anyway the British government can do what we do: either debit the licence fee from a utility bill or give the taxpayers money directly to the outlet.”
“Good point anyway who is the Pakistani Spare?”
“Someone with no acting skills, so there can be no question of negotiating movie contracts.”
“Not even if they are asked to play a cameo role.”
“Ah right that could be doable, or the numerous available appearances of the person in question available with the state media outlet can be used.”
“Hmmm the Sharifs like to have their faces plastered on bill boards, government advertisements and…”
“And yet they hesitate to name any project they launch out of public money with their name, yes the pictures are there but….”
“I hear the situation has changed. Besides they all do that - the Bhutto Zardaris insert the word Peoples in all the projects they launch out of public money, the use of the word Ehsaaas by the Man Who Must Remain Nameless, Faceless and Voiceless…..”
“Benazir Income Support Programme!”
“An exception I concede but anyway who is the Pakistani Spare?”
“Dar, isn’t a deputy a spare by definition?”
“Hmmm he is more like Marco Rubio – not engaged in any of the critical ongoing foreign policy thrusts but the non-critical ones. Why in the world is he in the UK today and why has he taken staff from the outlet that survives on the taxpayers’ money and……”
“He’s got an appointment with Miliband and a meeting with the IMO on the kidnapped Pakistanis by the pirates and….”
“Weren’t they kidnapped in April sometime?”
“Better late than never. Besides Miliband…..”
“May ask about the Man Who Must Remain Nameless…..”
“Dear Lord!”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2026
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