Partly Facetious: Nawaz wasn’t in exile?

“I guess if Nawaz Sharif is returning after four years in exile, the deal has been struck.”

“Hey he wasn’t in exile…”

“Really! London no longer classifies as exile for him?”

“London classifies as exile but not the Avenfield flats – I have never been invited to those flats but I tell you those flats have been so much in the news that I feel those flats are part of our country and…”

“Don’t be facetious. So the deal has been struck I guess, but you know the deal has to be with two pillars of our state – the judiciary because there is the small matter of Nawaz Sharif conviction not in absentia and…”

“And the second pillar?”

“The military that he loves to alienate – at last count he had alienated the establishment more times than he was the country’s prime minister…”

“I thought it was at par – three for three.”

“Right three times water went over the bridge, the other times a run of the river dam was built…”

“What imagery. Anyway the social sciences do not classify the military as a pillar of state – it’s the executive, the legislature and the judiciary…”

“Hey that was stupid. Let me give you an example. Ishaq Dar has been the finance minister four times with devastating results on the economy in general and the public in particular and I hear he maybe in the running for the fifth time…”

“I don’t get Dar’s reference?”

“Adapt academic theories to Pakistan’s reality!”

“I still don’t get it, but anyway, there are no glitches to Nawaz Sharif’s return. Right”?

“Well there is a small demand of his which has not yet been agreed to. He wants a twenty one gun salute at the airport.”

“Isn’t that given for a national day or a religious event and only to a head of state…”

“It’s a celebratory salute and if he gets one that will be more than Benazir Bhutto or The Man Who Must Remain Nameless ever got while not in the prime minister’s seat.”

“Well that explains it.”

“Explains what?”

“Notification Maryam Nawaz is on the market seeking precisely 21 guns to…”

“Liar! She is negotiating some personal issues with a person who is a strong supporter of daddy and is quite well connected with a royal family…”

“Oh dear does that mean there could be problems if Nawaz Sharif ascends the throne the fourth time?!”

“That does not merit an answer.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023