PARTLY FACETIOUS: The battle of wills is on again

“Ooopsy daisy.”

“What?”

“Well, like everything in the Land of the Pure, it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”

“In which case, if it increases my quality of life, I would rather fall in the category of damned if I do.”

“This is so very much in character for the people of the Land of the Pure – give an opinion without knowing what the subject is…you know, like many call for a ban on a particular book without actually reading it…”

“That’s good we guard ourselves against exposure…”

“Dear me, anyway, what I was referring to when I said oooopsy daisy was the Minister of Finance Muhammad Aurengzeb’s comment that the PML-led government should have implemented the registration followed by advance tax on traders in 2022….”

“I take strong exception to that!”

“Granted that he is backed by two hats, and one of the hatted gentlemen is extremely powerful and….”

“That’s not what I take strong exception to.”

“OK, the other not so powerful hatted individual will heap insults on you…”

“Granted that The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless has hurled insults at those who are now key stakeholders and….”

“Leave him be, I mean he is not in government so leave him be. I was referring to Notification Maryam Nawaz – remember in 2022 the then Finance Minister did budget such a tax but then NMN said to him sit boy, and he said jee (yes).”

“I thought the expression was jump, and the other one says how high.”

“Our finance ministers are more into sitting - a yes sir/madam, three bags full…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“Anyway, that is not what I took exception to? You want to make another guess?”

“Well, the battle of wills is on again – so let’s see who wins this time around. NMN is unlikely to issue any directives to the incumbent finance minister she is working 16 hours a day though I must say it is not the amount of time, quantity, but the quality…”

“I wasn’t aware that The Greedy for Portfolios Samdhi was training her for he also claimed he worked for that number of hours a day as finance minister, leaving the country on the verge of default and…”

“Not sixteen, he said fifteen – can’t compete with a full-blooded Sharif. Anyway, I took exception to the way you spelt ooopsy. First you spelt it with three o’s and then four o’s.”

“Shallow to the core, aren’t you?”

“The safest posture in the Land of the Pure.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024