PARTLY FACETIOUS: Who would be the most appropriate scapegoat?
“I heard Hegseth, the Secretary of War may be axed.”
“The first principle of politics: gotta have a scapegoat.”
“But President Trump says he has full confidence ….”
“That doesn’t matter – if push comes to shove he would need a scapegoat and let’s be honest given the midterm results ….”
“For your information push has come to shove and if not Hegseth then who would be the most appropriate scapegoat?”
“I would have thought the Vice President Vance – his extremely long tweet in which he distanced himself ….”
“But he has aspirations to take over from President Trump.”
“When? During the current term? But that would require his impeachment cause the President isn’t …well not quite like The Man Who Must Remain Nameless, Faceless and Voiceless who resigned his government in two provinces ….”
“Right but only after he was de-seated by parliament. Anyway Marco Rubio the Secretary of State is very quiet, another contender for the slot of the president ….”
“Big difference my friend – Vance can take over if President Trump does not complete his tenure for whatever reason, Rubio has to wait for the end of this term before making his pitch for the top position.”
“Right so who is Shehbaz Sharif’s scapegoat?”
“Our politic framework is very different - you cannot equate Hegseth’s portfolio with Khawja Asif’s, and you can’t equate Rubio’s portfolio with Ishaq Dar’s and ….”
“OK but if push comes to shove who would be Shehbaz Sharif’s scapegoat?”
“Shahbaz Sharif is a nice man – I reckon he will resign himself.”
“Who is President Asif Ali Zardari’s scapegoat?”
“Well Mr Gilani was, he was getting too big for his boots as the prime minister so he was …”
“That was due to his conviction by the court which made him ineligible for the position.”
“Think what you will and who would be the scapegoat if The Man Who Must Remain Nameless ….”
“No one whose name starts with an ain, the twenty-fourth letter of the Urdu alphabet …”
“But that doesn’t translate into English letters because sometimes a name starting with an ain in Urdu is an I in English and at other times it is an A and …”
“Hey in the spiritual world Urdu counts.”
“Sorry I stand corrected.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2026