Under the guise of being ‘authentic’

“Honesty does not pay.”

“Being direct is unwelcome.”

“My boss does not like truth.”

If ever there was a misunderstanding or misuse of being honest or authentic, it is now. Many organisations are complaining about the incivility of the younger generation. Meanwhile, the younger generation is complaining about the double-faced management. This may seem a normal team gelling, time-consuming process. It is not. It is much more. It is a chasm that has the potential of becoming the main barrier in developing a trust-based culture. And, we all know distrust is a revenue and growth decelerator.

Given the scale of the damage this perceptual difference can cause, it is time to create a discourse that makes organisations take it out of their micro-drawer and put it on the centre table initiating constructive conversations.

A Gen Z insight report from Ernst & Young showed that 92% of this generation values being “authentic and true to oneself” as important. In fact, they crave authenticity in all living aspects. They are a generation born in a world that has a huge issue of fake news. With artificial intelligence (AI) now available they are even more concerned about authenticity. In 2023 “authenticity” was one of the most searched words. In many social media ways, it has become a trend. To be authentic as a person, as a leader, is indisputably a screaming need.

Paradoxically, there is so much noise, such focus on how you “appear” that authenticity has become an endangered species. Having said that, people are giving their own interpretation to authenticity. Many younger people have a selective or coloured lens of looking at authenticity:

Lens 1: “I am just being real” – Such people wear the lens of being direct but blunt. They cut other people’s talk. They dismiss other views. They thrive on negativity. When admonished on this rude, derogatory behaviour, they would say, “See, you can’t take the truth because reality bites.” They make their discourtesy appear noble by calling themselves “straightforward” and “honest”.

Lens 2: “That is just not me” – Another convenient cover up is to say, “I cannot pretend” or “I am not made this way”. The reason they give is that they cannot be a “hypocrite”. Gen Z loves dismissing any talk of learning and adapting to the communication styles of the earlier generation. They call their resistance to learning and changing as being authentic.  

Lens 3: “Authenticity is costly” – This is the lens of being a victim. These people keep on rueing about their own shortcomings by blaming bad luck and circumstances. They claim themselves to be those authentic people who are no longer acceptable in this fake world. They become bitter and upset and keep feeling sorry for themselves by building their own perception of authenticity.

This raises the million-dollar question – What is authenticity? Authenticity is being true to oneself  and being genuine and devoid of deceiving others. Authentic people have self-awareness, trust and credibility. They know their own reality and do not make excuses when that reality is not quite what they want people to believe in.

While employees all over the world are looking for authentic leadership, they must also understand that authenticity begins with themselves. They must understand that their selective cognition of authenticity itself needs correction. They must understand that justifying unbecoming behaviour and inability to get along with diverse people is not due to their authenticity. Rather it is due to their being unauthentic to themselves.

This is a training youngsters need. At home parents are having a tough time dealing with a generation that wants not to conform to the norms. In the offices managers are struggling to engage young team members. It is very important to make them understand that being authentic is more than just talking straight.

Authentic behaviour 1: From being brutally honest to being respectfully honest – There is a pride many people take when they disguise their reactive outburst as being brutally honest. The word brutal implies cruelty, harshness and incivility. These are all immature and ineffective traits. These are all reactions that do more damage than good, not only to the one receiving them but more so to the one doing them. Authenticity is about being honest, but with respect. Authenticity is about being direct but with civility. Authenticity is about being upfront without affronting others. This needs to be taught, trained and accounted for in offices and at homes too.

Authentic behaviour 2: From speaking my mind to seeking other minds – Another matter of supremacy for many people is when they say, “I gave him a piece of my mind, and he was speechless.” There are two issues with this approach. Firstly when you give somebody a piece of your mind, there is a probability that you may partially lose your mind. Second is that the other person who is speechless may not be quiet because he is in awe of you, but because he may be shocked by this reaction. Authentic behaviour on the other hand is about thoughtful communication where empathy with the other person is a prerequisite.

Authentic behaviour 3: From being the know-all to being the learn-all – When people pass judgements, they become judge, jury and executioner. They assume they know it all, and the way they see somebody is the only right way of doing so. Being authentic is also being honest to oneself. Being honest to oneself is admitting that our way of looking has the probability of being limited or biased. This gives them the opportunity of being open to change and learning.

As with being “brutally honest”, “being open” is also an “interpretation of convenience”. It is understood mostly as being expressive about many topics that people avoid. While that may be true, it is much more than that. Authenticity starts with yourself. If it is about being open, it means being open to self-reflection, being vulnerable enough to admitting to your own limitations.

The “inconvenient truth” about authenticity requires self-accountability as a first step. It requires approachability to all types of diverse and opposing perceptions and opinions. The problem in today’s social-media-driven world is that the number of “comments”, “likes”, “shares” determine the validity of the opinion rather than the principle and value that it is based on. Being authentic is to be truthful about authenticity. As Jean Paul Satre said, “If you seek authenticity for authenticity’s sake, you are no longer authentic.”