Partly Facetious: Shahbaz talking on his behalf

22 Jun, 2019

"I am just curious."
"Curiosity killed the cat you know."
"I ain't no cat!"
"You ain't no umpire either."
"What does not being a cat have to do with being or not being an umpire? Let me quote a bunch of cat proverbs in different languages to prove my point. A Moroccan proverb is that an old cat will not learn to dance and..."
"Hey, our old cats are learning how to dance - I mean there is Zardari sahib and Nawaz Sharif - he is kind of quiet as he is in a place where he cannot be directly reported..."
"You reckon Shahbaz Sharif is talking on his behalf and not Maryam Nawaz?"
"If he allows his brother to talk on his behalf he may get to have his treatment outside jail, perhaps even out of the country..."
"The chance of that is very slim, almost non-existent..."
"But the chance is there nonetheless, while if Maryam talks on his behalf..."
"Hush...you and I both know that he loves his daughter more than anyone else..."
"Love must not be confused with trusting someone's capacity to take decisions in one's long term interests."
"Dear me, anyway a French proverb states cats, flies and women are ever at their toilets, and need I add that is a sexist and..."
"Ah but the French redeem themselves by another proverb, books and cats and fair-haired little girls make the best furnishing for a room; but that still does not explain why you somehow connected cats with umpires."
"For that we must go back centuries. An inscription on the royal tomb of Thebes puts it succinctly: thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods, and the judge of words, and the president of the sovereign chiefs and the governor of the holy Circle; thou art indeed...the Great Cat."
"Where does umpire come in?"
"You are so thick...the cat my dear is itself the umpire and where that happens there is equilibrium."
"I don't get it."
"Thick, very thick, as I said..."

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