Partly Facetious: You know nothing about politics

24 Apr, 2019

"I do miss him."
"Stop that! You attacked the poor guy's policies time and again and criticized him for being much more focused on attacking the opposition for daring to criticize The Khan and..."
"You will never ever make a good Pakistani politician and if by any chance you get elected as an independent candidate, be assured you would never ever get a federal ministry."
"That's where you are wrong and that indicates to me you know nothing about our politics. If the party with the highest number of seats does not have an absolute majority in the assembly, a fact in the past three elections, then my friend I will be approached with goodies..."
"OK, but for how long! Don't forget once a government is formed then your leverage will decline and what was bestowed can be withdrawn. Anyway I wasn't referring to the departure of Asad Umar."
"Oh, so who else, couldn't be Ghulam Sarwar could it! I recall you being extremely angry with your December gas bill..."
"Not fair I say; Ghulam Sarwar did not give instructions to inflate the bills, the same complaint has been made by the deposed health guy namely he wasn't responsible for the rise in medicine prices..."
"OK, so whose departure are you unhappy about?"
"Fawad Chaudhry's."
"The media was angered as he was setting up a joint print and electronic media authority..."
"Hey the guy did what he was meant to! Defend The Khan, attack the Sharifs and the Zardaris, and defend cabinet members in order of who the Khan likes more and..."
"Maybe The Khan appointed Firdous Ashiq Awan because she is..."
"Hmmm."
"It's relative and..."
"Speaking relatively I found Fawad Chaudhry possessing greater...material than FAA...wait...wait...let me finish, just because you are a sexist and reckon women are more ... than males...I take exception to that and..."
"Women have recourse to make up and heels and..."
"Talking of heels I would urge Madame not to wear them, last time she was elevated to the position of Information Minister she began wearing heels, broke her crown and was hospitalized so..."
"Not crown, ankle..."
"Crown sounds better cause then Jill will come tumbling after."
"Jill being?"
"Fawad Chaudhry...lesson to be learned by him - do a Kaira on Madame Ashiq."
"Don't be facetious."

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