"Did you hear that pig meat was being sold in Punjab?"
"I was wondering why we Punjabis were getting even more pigheaded than before."
"Hey, this is no joking matter - those who sold the meat violated our food code, religious food code and..."
"Ah yes, that is serious indeed."
"For curiosity's sake who were you referring to when you said Punjabis were getting even more pigheaded than before."
"There are the Sharif brothers, then there is the Khan... rigid stances, I mean you look at some Sindh politicians and they are more willing to reconcile and..."
"And work both sides of the street so to say."
"Hey, back off from Dr Asim Hussain - these innuendoes are not appropriate at this stage of the investigation."
"Alright, but you know I heard that the bulk of the meat was coming from Pindi."
"If you dare think that Pindi had anything to do with that..."
"That is the report my friend."
"Be quiet you silly."
"Can't you take a joke, I mean the truly empowered can take a joke if you know what I mean."
"I think that is cultural. We can pull others down but we can't take a joke on our selves."
"Don't get so profound the fact of the matter is that pig meat was sold in Punjab and lets be honest it was not sold in shops that cater to the rich but to the poor."
"I can't understand one thing: there is a big difference in taste between pig meat and goat/sheep meat, horse meat is very hard and not chewable, so how come those who ate the meat didn't know the difference."
"How do you know the difference?"
"I heard, anyway in Pakistan all goes, I mean the medicines are of lower potency than ones you get abroad and..."
"That's cause the ephedrine traders and need I add Metrobus Pindi and pirdom come to mind..."
"You are being so bad... I would have you know that Gilani sahib has said he will fight cases like Z A Bhutto and Benazir Bhutto..."
"This is what I will never ever forgive Zardari sahib for: he got a man, who even kept a necklace given by the Turkish leader's wife for our flood victims, to compare himself to the likes of Z A Bhutto and Benazir Bhutto."
"Ah yes, heads of government all."