PARTLY FACETIOUS: Protocol has a range

06 Jul, 2023

“How will you define an elite?” “Someone with money and power – the one without the other is not an elite.”

“Hmmm, so someone with money may be able to buy whatever he or she wants but will have no protocol while power gives you protocol…”

“You know protocol has a range – let me give you an example. I complained about a policeman’s behaviour to his bosses and he pleaded with me to withdraw the complaint and promised me protocol. So I asked him what protocol and he said he would salute me every time I passed by…”

“I get it, but in Pakistan that is protocol 101, freshman protocol. If you hold any public office, all police, not just one as in your case, all along your route not only salute you but wave your car through. Then there is protocol at all transport points – you get upgraded…”

“I can’t imagine bus depots and railway stations extending protocol as our elite do not travel by bus or rail.”

“Well then go back to the railways – a senior rail official can get a discount which is his protocol, anyone working for Wapda gets discounted electricity…”

“That’s not protocol that’s…that’s…that’s…”

“While you look for an appropriate word let me refer you to The Samdhi’s decision to raise salaries of all civilian and military bureaucrats and judges while the rest of us cannot make ends meet…”

“I can’t think of an appropriate English term though in Urdu the phrase that comes to mind is seenazorri which translates into well beyond what is kosher.”

“Then there are other freebies available to our elite but I guess the moral of the story is to seek employment in government or employment where the salary is payable from our tax money.”

“Right but then there are the farm elite who sit in our assemblies…”

“OK they are the elite not only in terms of money but also power now the rich industrialists have money and they exert power – I mean look at the tax structure which one revolving finance minister after another – economists, accountants, bankers – have not changed…”

“Indeed and what about the traders and non-filers being legitimized by The Samdhi and…”

“Ji.”

“What?”

“Isn’t that what Ismail said to Notification Maryam Nawaz?”

“And yet he is out and Samdhi is in.”

“As Shakespeare said frailty thy name is woman.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023

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