PARTLY FACETIOUS: NMN gives training to no one

07 Feb, 2023

“Has there been a change in The Trainer?” “Hey I no longer have the funds to hire a personal trainer, and I am not sure whether I will be able to renew my gym membership…”

“What are you? Under training with Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN)?”

“Don’t be disrespectful. NMN gives training to no one – she may not be the first politician, without having won a single election - be it national, provincial or even local elections, to be promoted out of turn in Pakistani politics because daddy is the party leader, she is not the first politician who gathers crowds effortlessly and when the crowds are not there the fault is laid at the doorstep of the area PML-N leader and she may not be…”

“Oh stop it, all I wanted to ask is, has Parveen Rashid been replaced by The Rana as NMNs Trainer — a dangerous man to have as a foe, all ye Insaafists…”

“OK I am not going to ask you to change your keyboard now because it’s no longer affordable but the name is Parvez Rashid and I heard he was put on the mat by Nawaz Sharif in London for failing to polish NMN sufficiently…”

“Polish as in fashion or looks or…”

“Don’t be facetious, polish as in making her threats more pungent for The Khan and his band of merry men and women, I mean when she was training under Parvez Rashid the Isaafists would merely laugh and poke fun at her and say rightly that every time she speaks many supporters change their minds, a no mean feat that was not only acknowledged by The Khan but also appreciated by him…”

“Hmmm. No one can be that stupid as to make fun of her when the dreaded Rana is next to her.”

“Now she needs to unlearn what she learnt with Parveen Rashid.”

“Agreed she must stop abusing The Khan at every forum and insisting her version of the truth is the right one while urging her daddy’s followers to spread her version of the truth because all the Insaafists need to counter her is to refer to her much aired response that she owns no property in Pakistan and abroad… That was the old Trainer’s instructions.”

“So she should do a Rana — no smiles please, and focus on telling the truth, The Rana keeps mentioning his ordeal in prison on a trumped up charge and even his most diehard opponents agree that it was trumped up…”

“There is one thing that she has that The Rana doesn’t?”

“Eye candy and let’s be honest not even The Rana’s mother would have thought he was eye candy.”

“Don’t be facetious – the media, in her support or against her – gives her as much airtime as to The Khan right?”

“That’s true but what use the two make of it is as wide as…as…”

“Between mother earth and father sky.”

“Indeed.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023

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