“Pakistan’s population growth rate is declining – it was 1.9 percent in 2022 and…wait…this is contrary to a rise in the birth rate in the West due to the pandemic….”

“Silly in the West the birth rate didn’t rise, I heard the divorce rate rose.”

“Hmmm so same-o same-o here – the birth rate declined during the pandemic years.”

“This is a good thing – during the Nawaz Sharif years it was 2.4 percent, in The Khan’s first year in power it came down to 2 percent, in 2021 it came further down to 1.95 percent and its even further down in the current year….”

“Hey do you think the Shahbaz Sharif factor has played a role, like The Khan claims with respect to the economy, or is it all down to The Khan.”

“I would have you know that it takes nine months for a baby and Mr Sharif has been in power for two months though as time is a relative term it appears as 3 months to The Khan’s team.”

“The fertility rate of Pakistani women came down from 4.1 during the Musharraf years to 3.6 percent during the Miftah Ismail year 2017-18 and The Khan, with two children, was a good example for his supporters which brought it all the way down to…”

“The Khan has a third child.”

“I am talking fertility rates of women!”

“Sorry anyway The Khan’s third wife has five children and she is his spiritual guide I hear and…”

“I would have you know that we Pakistanis are not following her example - we are following The Khan.”

“My point was that had the recently wed Khan and Wife been of an age…”

“Oh shut up! Anyway the number of children Nawaz Sharif and Shahbaz Sharif have is well over the existing fertility rate…”

“It’s the rate that was prevalent when they were having kids.”

“Oh right so I guess the moral of the story is absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“I don’t get it.”

“During the pandemic there was lockdown so exposure to one’s spouse was much more than otherwise.”

“Hmmmmm.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022