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“Mummyyyyyyyyyy.” “You OK? I mean whenever I am not well or in a deep doo-doo I think of my mummy…” “Oye are you sure you know what doo-doo means. I looked it up in the dictionary and it refers to solid waste released from the bowels of animals, including humans and…”

“Don’t be so literal. Deep doo-doo means in deep trouble and…”

“You making up words now?”

“In the Land of the Pure all are engaged in reinterpreting words — written and unwritten — revisiting legislation or shall we say making it more inclusive, where everyone who is anyone…”

“Are you referring to the constitution when you say written?”

“I am not going to respond to specifics, we are a nation of generalities…why are you laughing?”

“Generalities in spite of the Decade of Audio Releases (DAR) that are specific…”

“In spite of. By the way come up with another acronym than Dar, I mean that evokes so many names — there is Dar the Accountant, Dar the creator of the Tiger Force…”

“I haven’t heard any mention of that force for a while now and…”

“And have you heard of any capacity to balance the books that any Accountant – good or bad – has to achieve?”

“I stand corrected anyway when I yelled mummy I was not really referring to a mummy but someone who, like a mummy, can deliver and…”

“Oh you reckon Shehbaz Sharif’s mummy is elder brother who insists on a bunch of non-performers being provided portfolios, some empty some meaningful…”

No I was referring to the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless who yelled mummy when the Punjab caretakers had the gall to ask the Cricket Board to share PSL’s security expenses.”

“Well his mummy is not Shehbaz Sharif but Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN) and…”

“Indeed and could someone tell the Prime Minister that the austerity measures he recently announced, notably, that no federal cabinet member would be provided security detail are being flouted by NMN – her security detail rivals what she had when daddy was prime minister…”

“But she is not a federal cabinet member so there!”

“Well left my friend, well left.”

“Anyway, if that is the price he has to pay to keep her kinda contained.”

“Ha ha and needless to add in spite of her going from one district of Punjab to another claiming that daddy is good and The Khan bad PTI won the elections in Rajanpur…”

“That’s never her fault and daddy agrees, so just shut up.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023

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