PARTLY FACETIOUS: The PM's address to the nation

"I was saddened by The Khan's address."

"The 120 billion rupee subsidy to 2 crore households out of around 3.5 crore households in Pakistan implies a poverty rate well above 50 percent!"

"I thought The Khan tweeted last week that poverty is down, he was citing a World Bank report launched amidst much fanfare last week claiming that poverty, defined as less than 1.90 dollar purchasing power parity 2011 per day, declined from 5.3 percent in fiscal year 2020 to 4.8 percent in fiscal year 2021."

"Hallelujah."

"That's not an expression used in Islam."

"It means God be praised."

"Oh well an Arabic expression would have been preferable..."

"You being facetious? Anyway The Khan sounded harassed during his yet another package speech though otherwise he looked OK - his hair was as black as...as..."

"The expression is ebony. And I don't think he looked harassed."

"I said sounded not looked harassed - from saying that he will put the Zardaris and Sharifs in jail he was exhorting them to please, please return their wealth and I ask you has anyone in known history returned the wealth they stole - it is the state that ensures that ill-gotten wealth is retrieved and after three years in power..."

"With Shahzad R Akbar, R as in Rotund, still occupying the same position..."

"Right, anyway what saddens me is that The Khan has done much more than any other party leader, leave alone politician, for this country. I am referring to The Khan winning the world cup for Pakistan, a feat never before or since achieved, I am referring to the Shaukat Khanum hospitals, excellently run, I am referring to the University he set up..."

"Undoubtedly - no argument there and I agree with The Khan when he gave a shut up call to Khawaja Asif for criticizing the source of funding for the cancer hospitals..."

"But? There is a but right?"

"Yes there is; but I am saddened that he will be remembered for none of those things but the flawed decisions, in appointments and in policies, that he took and endorsed and need I add continues to take and endorse one after another after another after..."

"Hmmm, and what about his claim that if the Zardaris and the Sharifs bring the money back that Shahzad R Akbar has been unable to prove is ill gotten wealth three years later at any forum except in press conferences where he waves some papers around and spouts the same allegations, - he, The Khan, will reduce prices by 50 percent? Is that doable at all?"

"Nope, nope and nope."

"And the 120 billion rupee subsidy package?"

"Ridiculous to say the least in economic terms - you provide subsidies from money you do not have but at the same time you raise prices to generate the money which will not be enough and..."

"Sad yes."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021